It’s moments like these in which I tell myself over and over that caring for someone so much… Is one of the worst things you could do. Not only because you get physically and emotionally drained, but simply because there’s no form of a “thank you.” Thank you for caring about me and wanting the best for me. Thank you for wearing yourself out for me and loving me with excessive compulsion. Thank you, really, thank you.
But then I tell myself that… Caring for someone is one of the most beautiful feelings there is, and when it’s for someone special, it’s unearthly, the feeling is unearthly. You let go of your ego, your pride. You let go of who you are and drive yourself to the verge of an abyss for that person. Because that is love.
So, after thinking that, I’m left by two sacks of heavy shit that contradict one another.
So what is it? I hate myself for caring… But I’d hate myself if I didn’t care. I wish I didn’t care so much, but I do because I understand that when you truly love someone, you let go of everything and make yourself vulnerable, conscious that there will be a stab in the heart for caring.
My love, I’ll drive myself to the verge of an abyss and take a stab to my heart for you. Sorry that I care too much but I’m not really sorry.